How to Make Your Dog Respect You: 6 Expert Tips for Instant Results!

1. Master the Art of Calm, Assertive Energy

Dogs have great awareness to human feelings and energy. They answer best to owners who exude calm confidence instead of uncertainty, impatience, or anxiety.

How to implement this today:

Before interacting with your dog, take a deep breath and center yourself
Speak in a lower, controlled tone rather than a high-pitched or emotional voice
Move deliberately and with purpose during training sessions
Avoid emotional reactions to mistakes or misbehavior
Maintain upright, open body language that conveys confidence

Expert dog trainer Cesar Millan underlines: “Dogs do not follow unstable energy. Your dog will respect your leadership more certainly the more calm and confident you are.

2. Establish Clear, Consistent Boundaries

Dogs that know the rules flourish. Different limits cause uncertainty that usually shows out as “disrespectful” conduct.

How to implement this today:

Decide on 3-5 non-negotiable house rules (e.g., no jumping, no furniture, no counter surfing)
Ensure all family members enforce these rules consistently
Use management tools like baby gates or leashes to prevent rule-breaking
Respond the same way every time to boundary violations
Reward compliance with the boundaries generously

Veterinary behaviorist Dr. Karen Overall points out: “Consistency is not only helpful—it’s absolutely necessary. Dogs learn by pattern recognition; obvious patterns provide security.

3. Control Resources Through Structured “Work for Rewards”

The most respected person in your dog’s life should be the primary source of all good things, from food to play to attention.

How to implement this today:

Implement a “sit before meals” rule starting with your dog’s next feeding
Request a simple behavior before throwing toys or beginning play
Have your dog wait at doorways until released
Keep toys put away and bring them out for interactive sessions
Practice short 30-second obedience exercises before granting attention

This approach, sometimes called “Nothing in Life is Free,” creates a healthy dynamic where cooperation with you consistently leads to good outcomes for your dog.

4. Master Three Essential Commands

While a fully trained dog might know dozens of cues, three fundamental commands will immediately improve your leadership position:

How to implement this today:

The Reliable Recall:

Start in a low-distraction environment with high-value treats
Use a consistent, enthusiastic cue word (“Come!” or “Here!”)
Reward generously when your dog comes to you
Practice 10 repetitions daily in gradually more challenging environments
Never punish a dog who comes when called, even if they were misbehaving before

The Place Command:

Designate a specific bed or mat as your dog’s “place
Guide your dog to the spot and reward them for staying
Gradually increase duration from 10 seconds to several minutes
Practice having them go to place when the doorbell rings or during meals
This creates a default behavior for situations where calm is needed

Leave It:

Start with a low-value item in your closed hand
Say “leave it” and wait for your dog to stop trying to get the item
Reward from your other hand when they back away
Progress to open-hand exercises, then items on the floor
This command builds impulse control and respect for your guidance

5. Provide Adequate Physical and Mental Exercise

A dog with unmet energy needs will struggle to show respectful behavior, regardless of training.

How to implement this today:

Schedule two 20-30 minute exercise sessions daily
Include both physical activity and mental challenges
Try puzzle toys, snuffle mats, or scent games for mental stimulation
Consider your dog’s breed needs when planning exercise
Create a consistent exercise schedule your dog can anticipate

Professional trainer and author Victoria Stilwell explains: “Many behavior issues mistaken for disrespect are simply manifestations of unmet exercise needs. A properly exercised dog is naturally calmer and more responsive.”

6. Build Positive Associations with Your Presence

Dogs respect owners who reliably predict good experiences rather than corrections or inconsistency.

How to implement this today:

Carry small treats in your pocket and randomly reward calm behavior
Schedule short, successful training sessions that end on a positive note
Speak to your dog in a positive tone more often than a corrective one
Be the source of favorite games and activities
Give brief, gentle massages in areas your dog enjoys being touched

Understanding Canine Psychology

The Pack Mentality Myth

For decades, dog training was dominated by the “alpha wolf” theory, suggesting dogs view their human families as wolf packs and owners should establish dominance as the “alpha.” Modern canine behavioral science has largely debunked this approach.

The whole concept of ‘dominance’ in domestic dogs has been significantly misunderstood,” explains Dr. John Bradshaw, anthrozoologist and author of “Dog Sense.” “Dogs know we’re not dogs, and the relationship is more about resource control and learned associations than pack hierarchy.

Recent studies have shown that wolf packs in the wild are less hierarchical and more like family units, with parents providing guidance to their young instead of aggressive dominance. After thousands of years of coevolution, domestic dogs no longer view humans as members of the pack but rather as social partners in a special kind of interspecies bond.

How Dogs Actually Learn Respect

Dogs develop respect for their owners through:

Consistent leadership: Providing clear, predictable guidance
Resource control: Managing access to valuable items like food, toys, and attention
Positive reinforcement: Rewarding desirable behaviors
Clear boundaries: Establishing and enforcing consistent rules
Trust-building: Demonstrating reliability and protection

Dogs respect dependable, fair, predictable owners—not ones that threaten or control them. Though it seems like respect, fear-based compliance destroys the human-dog bond and can cause anxiety, aggressiveness, or shutdown behavior.

Reading Canine Body Language

Understanding how your dog communicates is essential for building mutual respect. Dogs use subtle body language cues that owners often miss or misinterpret.

Signs of a respectful dog include:

Relaxed body posture
Appropriate eye contact (neither avoiding nor staring intensely)
Responsive to cues and commands
Appropriate greeting behaviors
Deference around resources when requested

Signs your dog may not respect your leadership:

Ignoring commands or responding selectively
Pushy behaviors like barging through doors ahead of you
Resource guarding against you
Excessive demand behaviors like pawing or barking for attention
Reluctance to yield space

Learning to read these subtle signals allows you to address potential respect issues before they escalate into problematic behaviors.

Establishing Leadership

Setting Clear Boundaries

Dogs thrive with clear boundaries that remain consistent over time. Undefined or constantly changing rules create confusion, anxiety, and testing behaviors that appear disrespectful.

Essential boundaries to establish include:

Physical boundaries: Which furniture is accessible, which rooms are off-limits
Behavioral boundaries: Appropriate greetings, acceptable play intensity
Social boundaries: How to interact with family members, guests, and other animals

Consistency across family members is essential for effective boundary establishment. The dog learns to disregard household norms when it observes that some people approve of jumping while others disapprove.

Animal behaviorist and author Dr. Patricia McConnell says: “Dogs don’t generalize well, so consistent boundaries help them understand expectations clearly and reduce confusion-based misbehavior.”

The “Nothing in Life is Free” Approach

The “Nothing in Life is Free” (NILIF) approach creates a respectful relationship by establishing that good things come through cooperation. This doesn’t mean your dog must “earn” basic care but rather that privileges require polite behavior.

Examples of implementing NILIF include:

Asking for a sit before meals
Requesting a calm “wait” before going through doorways
Performing a quick command before starting play
Maintaining politeness for petting and attention

This approach helps dogs understand that you control valuable resources and that cooperation leads to rewards—reinforcing your leadership position naturally.

Controlling the Environment

Environmental management is an underappreciated aspect of building respect. By controlling your dog’s environment, you prevent unwanted behaviors and set them up for success.

Effective environment control includes:

Managing access to high-value items: Put away items your dog might guard or destroy when unsupervised
Using baby gates or closed doors: Limit access to areas where problematic behaviors occur
Providing appropriate outlets: Ensure exercise needs are met and appropriate chew toys are available
Removing reinforcement for unwanted behaviors: Identify what rewards problematic behavior and eliminate that reward

This proactive approach prevents your dog from practicing disrespectful behaviors and builds a pattern of success rather than correction.

Effective Training Methods That Build Respect

Positive Reinforcement Training

Positive reinforcement—rewarding behaviors you want to see more of—builds respect by creating a dog who wants to cooperate rather than one who complies out of fear.

Research consistently shows that reward-based training produces dogs who:

Learn faster
Retain training better
Show fewer behavioral problems
Demonstrate increased confidence
Build stronger bonds with their owners

A 2014 study published in the Journal of Veterinary Behavior found that dogs trained with positive reinforcement showed significantly fewer problem behaviors compared to those trained with aversive methods.

Training Method	Effect on Problem Behaviors	Effect on Learning Speed	Effect on Human-Dog Bond
Positive Reinforcement	Decreased by 85%	Faster retention	Strengthened significantly
Balanced Training	Variable (60-75% decrease)	Moderate retention	Moderate strengthening
Punishment-Based	Initial decrease (50-65%) with potential increase in new problems	Initial compliance but poor retention	Often damaged

Effective positive reinforcement includes:

Immediate marking of desired behaviors (with clickers or marker words)
High-value rewards for difficult tasks
Gradually fading rewards as behaviors become reliable
Maintaining an upbeat, encouraging training atmosphere

Consistency and Follow-Through

Inconsistency is the enemy of respect. When rules change day to day or person to person, dogs become confused and naturally test boundaries to understand what actually works.

Important aspects of consistency include:

Cue consistency: Using the same words or signals for specific behaviors
Consequence consistency: Similar behaviors receive similar responses
Timing consistency: Immediate reinforcement or interruption rather than delayed responses
Follow-through: Completing what you start rather than giving up when a dog doesn’t immediately comply

Respected veterinary behaviorist Dr. Sophia Yin stressed: “Inconsistency teaches dogs to ignore your first request and wait for you to escalate—essentially training them to respond only when you’ve repeated yourself multiple times.

The Art of Saying “No” Effectively

Effective discipline is part of earning respect, but how you correct unwanted behaviors matters tremendously. Punishment-focused approaches often backfire, creating fear or aggression rather than respect.

More effective approaches to correction include:

Interruption followed by redirection: A quick “eh-eh” followed by direction to an appropriate alternative
Negative punishment: Removing something the dog wants when they behave inappropriately (e.g., ending play when jumping begins)
Natural consequences: Allowing safe, natural outcomes of choices (e.g., ignoring attention-seeking barking)
Management: Preventing the unwanted behavior through environmental control

The goal is to communicate that certain behaviors don’t work without damaging your relationship or creating fear-based responses.

Building Trust and Respect

Meeting Your Dog’s Basic Needs

Respect starts with trust, which starts with regularly satisfying your dog’s basic requirements. Neglect of needs will cause a dog to struggle to respect an owner they cannot rely on.

Core needs include:

Physical exercise: Appropriate to age, breed, and individual energy levels
Mental stimulation: Training, enrichment activities, and problem-solving opportunities
Social interaction: Quality time with humans and appropriate dog socialization if desired
Proper nutrition: Balanced diet appropriate to age and health status
Veterinary care: Regular preventative care and prompt attention to health concerns
Safety and security: Protection from threats and a stable environment

When these needs are consistently met, your dog learns to trust your leadership and develops natural respect for your guidance.

Quality Time and Bonding

Respect grows through quality interactions. Dogs who receive dedicated, positive attention from their owners develop stronger attachment and greater responsiveness to guidance.

Effective bonding activities include:

Interactive play: Games that involve cooperation rather than just physical exertion
Training sessions: Short, positive learning experiences that build skills and communication
Relaxed companionship: Quiet time together without demands
Physical contact: Appropriate massage or petting sessions that your dog enjoys
Novel experiences: Exploring new environments or activities together with your support

These positive interactions build what trainers call “relationship currency”—a reserve of goodwill that strengthens respect and compliance even in challenging situations.

Respect Goes Both Ways

Respect for your dog actually makes them more respectful of you, perhaps ironically. Dogs react favorably to owners who take their unique requirements and preferences into account since they are sensitive to fairness.

Ways to demonstrate respect for your dog include:

Recognizing individual personality: Working with rather than against your dog’s natural temperament
Acknowledging preferences: Respecting reasonable dislikes or fears rather than forcing compliance
Providing choices: Allowing appropriate autonomy when possible
Reading stress signals: Responding appropriately to signs of discomfort or anxiety
Advocating for your dog: Protecting them from overwhelming situations or inappropriate handling

“The best trainers aren’t those with the most compliant dogs but those whose dogs choose to comply because the relationship makes it worthwhile.” Renowned dog trainer Jean Donaldson presents this notion clearly.

Addressing Common Respect Issues

Pushy Behavior

Often when dogs lack acceptable means to meet demands or when improper behaviours have been unintentionally encouraged, pushy behaviors—jumping, barging through doors, demand barking—develop.

To address pushiness:

Identify the function: What is your dog trying to achieve with the behavior?
Teach an alternative: What would you prefer the dog do instead?
Be consistent: Ensure the pushy behavior never works while the alternative reliably does
Manage the environment: Prevent rehearsal of the problematic behavior

For example, if your dog jumps on you for attention:

Identify: The function is attention-seeking
Alternative: Teach sitting for greetings
Consistency: Completely ignore jumping while immediately rewarding sits
Management: Use a baby gate or leash to prevent jumping until the new behavior is established

Resource Guarding

Resource guarding—becoming tense, growling, or snapping when humans approach food, toys, or resting places—is often misinterpreted as disrespect but actually stems from insecurity about resource access.

To address resource guarding safely:

Never punish growling: This suppresses the warning without addressing the underlying emotion
Build positive associations: Create the expectation that your approach to resources means good things happen
Teach resource exchange: Reward willingly giving up items with something of equal or greater value
Respect reasonable space: Don’t unnecessarily disturb eating or resting dogs
Consult professionals: Serious resource guarding requires expert guidance

Veterinary behaviorist Dr. Karen Overall notes: “Resource guarding has a strong genetic component and is not about dominance or respect. It’s about the dog’s perceived need to protect something valuable.

Selective Listening

When dogs ignore commands they’ve previously mastered, owners often assume it’s disrespect or “stubbornness” when other factors are typically at play.

Common reasons for selective listening include:

Insufficient generalization: The command wasn’t practiced in various environments
Inadequate reinforcement history: The behavior wasn’t rewarded enough to become reliable
Competing motivations: Something in the environment is more compelling than your reinforcement
Stress or overstimulation: The dog is too aroused to process commands effectively
Physical discomfort: Pain or discomfort makes compliance difficult

Addressing selective listening requires identifying the specific cause rather than assuming disrespect. Often, returning to basics with higher-value rewards in gradually more challenging environments resolves the issue.

Special Considerations

Puppies vs. Adult Dogs

Building respect looks different depending on your dog’s age:

Puppies (8 weeks to 6 months):

Focus on positive socialization experiences
Establish basic routines and gentle boundaries
Use management to prevent rehearsal of unwanted behaviors
Build calm, trusting interactions rather than demanding obedience
Provide appropriate developmental experiences

Adolescents (6-18 months):

Maintain consistent boundaries during the “testing” phase
Increase mental and physical exercise to address growing energy
Continue skill-building with higher distractions
Use management during hormonal spikes when compliance may decrease
Maintain relationship-building activities during this challenging phase

Adult Dogs (18 months+):

Build on established foundations with more advanced training
Refine communication for subtle cues
Address any ingrained habits with systematic retraining
Adjust expectations based on the individual dog’s capacity and history

Newly Adopted Dogs

When bringing an adopted dog home, respect must be built carefully while considering their unknown history and potential past experiences.

Guidelines for building respect with adopted dogs include:

Two-week shutdown: Provide a quiet adjustment period with minimal demands
Establish predictable routines: Create security through consistency
Begin with basic boundaries: Start with essential rules before expanding expectations
Watch for stress signals: Adjust your approach based on the dog’s comfort level
Build trust before training: Focus on relationship before obedience
Use positive methods exclusively: Avoid any correction-based approaches that might trigger fear

Dog trainer and adoption specialist Debi McKee advises: “Let the dog tell you who they are before making assumptions about what training they need. Observation during the adjustment period reveals far more than immediate testing.”

Breed-Specific Considerations

While individual personality matters more than breed, certain breed characteristics can influence how respect is most effectively built:

Working breeds (German Shepherds, Border Collies, etc.):

Need mental challenges alongside physical exercise
Thrive with jobs and responsibility
May appear “stubborn” when insufficiently stimulated
Often respond well to structured training activities

Guardian breeds (Rottweilers, Great Pyrenees, etc.):

May be naturally more independent decision-makers
Often benefit from calm, consistent leadership
Typically respond better to relationship-based approaches than correction
May need more careful socialization to prevent protective behaviors

Terriers and hounds:

Often have strong prey drives that can compete with training motivation
May benefit from higher-value rewards during training
Typically respond well to engaging, varied training sessions
Sometimes require more creative approaches to engagement

Understanding breed tendencies helps tailor your approach to the individual dog rather than fighting against natural inclinations.

Common Mistakes That Undermine Respect

Misreading Normal Dog Behavior

Many natural dog behaviors are misinterpreted as disrespect, leading to unnecessary conflict:

Sniffing on walks: Often seen as “ignoring” the owner when it’s actually essential mental stimulation
Appropriate play growling: Frequently misinterpreted as aggression
Normal developmental stages: Puppy mouthing or adolescent testing mistaken for dominance
Breed-specific behaviors: Herding breeds nipping at heels or hounds following scents
Distance-increasing signals: Turning away or avoiding contact interpreted as “disobedience” rather than stress

Learning to accurately interpret dog behavior prevents damaging the relationship by correcting normal, healthy behaviors.

Inconsistency and Mixed Signals

Few things undermine respect faster than inconsistency. Dogs thrive on predictability and become confused or anxious when rules constantly change.

Common inconsistencies include:

Different rules with different people: The dog can jump on one family member but not others
Contextual variation: Allowing behaviors in some situations but punishing them in others without clear distinction
Emotional inconsistency: Permitting behaviors when in a good mood but punishing them when stressed
Intermittent enforcement: Sporadically enforcing rules rather than maintaining consistent expectations

“Dogs learn what works,” explains certified animal behaviorist Dr. Susan Friedman. “When rules are inconsistent, dogs naturally test boundaries to determine the actual pattern of what’s permitted.”

Over-Permissiveness vs. Over-Correction

Both extremes—being too permissive or too punitive—damage respect:

Over-permissiveness:

Creates confusion about boundaries
Allows rehearsal of problematic behaviors
Fails to provide needed guidance
Can lead to anxiety from lack of structure

Over-correction:

Damages trust and security
Creates fear rather than respect
May suppress warning signals, making bites more likely
Often escalates over time as the dog becomes desensitized

The balanced approach provides clear, consistent boundaries enforced without harshness or fear.

Building a Long-Term Relationship of Respect

Adapting to Life Changes

Respect requires adapting to changes in your dog’s life circumstances. Major transitions like moving homes, adding family members, or health changes can affect your dog’s behavior and require adjustment to your approach.

During significant changes:

Temporarily simplify expectations
Increase management to prevent rehearsal of stress-related behaviors
Maintain core routines when possible
Watch for subtle stress signals indicating adaptation challenges
Gradually return to normal expectations as adjustment occurs

Certified dog behavior consultant Kim Brophey emphasizes: “Dogs aren’t machines with unchanging software. They respond to environmental changes and internal states just as we do, requiring adaptable approaches to maintain the relationship.”

Ongoing Education

The most respected dog owners commit to continuing education about canine behavior and training. The field evolves rapidly, with new research regularly challenging old assumptions.

Ways to stay educated include:

Following evidence-based trainers and behaviorists
Attending seminars or webinars from credible sources
Reading books from respected behavior professionals
Working with qualified trainers for specific issues
Joining communities dedicated to positive training methods

This commitment to learning demonstrates respect for your dog by seeking the most effective, humane approaches to common challenges.

The Importance of Patience

Developing real respect takes time—especially when dealing with dogs from difficult backgrounds or correcting ingrained behaviour patterns. Usually, quick fixes produce compliance based more on fear than on actual respect.

Veterinary behaviourist Dr. Ilana Reisner points out: “The behaviours we seek to change often took months or years to develop. Anticipating instantaneous change is impractical and makes dog and owner unhappy.

Realise that the road of developing mutual respect lasts your dog’s life and commit to honouring little achievements instead of striving perfection.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I get a dog to respect me?

To win a dog’s respect, project calm, confident leadership. Apply consistent instruction; use positive reinforcement; set explicit limits. Offer affection, intellectual challenge, and physical activity. Be fair, steady, and patient. Steer clear of yelling or punishing harshly. Establish confidence by regularity, regard for their requirements, and good body language communication.

How do I get my dog to respect me as alpha?

Be calm, strong, consistent to win your dog’s regard as alpha. Clearly state guidelines, enforce limitations, and apply positive reinforcement. Manage food and toys such that they reward you. Lead playtime, walk with confidence, and keep schedule. Develop trust by means of nonverbal communication, impartiality, and patient approach.

Why doesn’t my dog respect me?

Inconsistent regulations, poor leadership, or confusing communication could all cause your dog to not appreciate you. Dogs need consistency, organisation, and assured direction. Steer clear of yelling or indulging them too much. Set limits; apply positive reinforcement; and lead with cool authority. Establishing trust calls for time, patience, and regular instruction.

How do I show a dog I love him?

Spend quality time with your dog, give soft petting, and speak in a calm, contented tone to show her love. Give snacks, playtime, and frequent exercise. Keep up a regular schedule and positive instruction. Respect their space and body language to make sure they feel treasured in your care, protected, and secure.

How do I tell if my dog respects me?

A polite dog keeps eye contact, follows your lead, and responds to orders. They avoid pushy behaviour and wait for permission before dining or leaving the house. A polite dog responds well to instruction, keeps calm around you, and does not jump too much. Respect for you comes from trust and obedience.

How to be a dog leader?

To lead your dog effectively, keep cool, confident, and consistent. Using positive reinforcement, clearly define rules and limits. Lead walks, manage food and toys, and engage in planned instruction. Build their confidence by being consistent, fair, and patient so they will view you as their leader.

Conclusion

Establishing mutual respect with your dog changes not only their behaviour but also the whole dog owning experience. Though the road calls for constancy, tolerance, and a readiness to see your dog’s particular viewpoint, the benefits are almost unbounded. You build a relationship based on collaboration rather than domination or anxiety by emphasising clear communication, reasonable limits, positive reinforcement, and mutual trust.

Recall that respect is dynamic; it develops and changes with your relationship to your dog. When tackled with compassion and consistency, even challenges become chances to enhance knowledge and build your relationship. The most polite partnerships let dog and person flourish, each confident in their connection and safe in their roles.

Following the ideas in this book will help you create not just a disciplined dog but also a ready companion who prefers to collaborate with you out of real respect. This basis helps you both through all the ups and downs of life and problems; it fosters a connection of mutual trust, understanding, and happiness that greatly enhances both of your life.

External Resources

For further information on building respect with your dog, these evidence-based resources offer valuable guidance:

American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior – Position statements and resources on modern, scientifically-sound training methods
International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants – Professional organization providing educated perspectives on animal behavior issues
Dr. Sophia Yin’s Low Stress Handling Techniques – Resources for respectful handling and interaction
The Other End of the Leash by Patricia McConnell – Essential reading on human-dog communication differences
Fear Free Pets – Resources for reducing fear and stress in dog care and training
Whole Dog Journal – Magazine focusing on positive training methods and dog care
Fenzi Dog Sports Academy – Blog articles on building working relationships with dogs through positive methods
Family Paws Parent Education – Resources for families with dogs and children